i'm shipping up to boston

boston bound 4th of july.
to say my goodbyes to my dc girl who leaves soon for hawaii!
happy/sad

holy hangover batman!

i face the future with a drink in my right
eyes to the sparkling gloom...

if it keeps on rainin'...

don't it make you feel bad?
when you're tryin to find your way home?
you don't know which way to go?

after avoiding my past...
tonight i reunite with it.
years and years in the making.
totally surreal.
a plane lands from tx in ny.
no idea what to expect.

then syracuse tomorrow.
"this is your life!"

"year of the rat"

Expansive and conservative forces collide. This might create unwanted stress on Monday. Tuesday supports a fresh start. If you've wanted to make a change, this is the time to do your homework. Be realistic. Are you financially able to accomplish your plans? A passionate person may bring unexpected drama midweek. Job and family interests are only part of the picture. Focus on health concerns later this week. Are you getting enough sleep? Say yes to friends this weekend.

drama?
can i please just hide under the covers?!?
ten bucks this is about my mom's surprise party. me starting WWIII between her siblings over if my gram should attend or not...

sleep?
no, i don't sleep, i dream...

hummingbirds are winding down...

first day of summer.
father's day.
added a bit of color to my life.

summer: phase I complete...

this conversation is ending, starting right now...

tomorrow is father's day. and the summer soulstice. since i'm getting tattooed early on, i'm writing this now so i won't forget or get sidetracked or whatever...

came back from my trip to ireland feeling like a different person. mellowed out. refocused.

my cousin shane, who's 36 and married with an 18 month old baby and another on the way, was sitting and talking to me about life. after i played football with him and his friends on a weeknight at 10 pm. sun was still up. glass of spanish wine in my hand. havianas on my feet. jeans. hoodie. no dressing up in ireland unless you're some lass tarted up going out to the pub to find yourself a man. (in words my dad would use.)

shane is the one i can hang with more than all the rest of my cousins in ireland. we like the same music. he's really into education, reading. (as a teacher and coach, he should be!) surfs. has travelled the world.

sometimes someone says a thing to you. just some really basic truth. but since you've never heard those words in that certain way, it resonates with you more than if they had launched into a whole explanation of why they think this way.

shane says to me: "life is as simple or as complex as you make it."

not really rocket science, i know. but usually i need a good kick in the ass. someone to tell me to shut the fuck up. to be patient. to think with my head and not go with my gut.

i'm really strong. independent. stubborn. just like my dad.

on this father's day eve, i'm very thankful that he's taught me everything he has, both in deeds and in words.

a couple of my good friends have lost their dads. my sister has lost her mom.

never know if it's ok to bring these people up. am so thankful that i have my dad still. but i know that on the day that i don't, no matter how far in the future that day is, he always lives on in my heart and my brain.

tomorrow i'm getting tattooed. hummingbirds. double meaning. it's from the last cd of one of my favorite bands, knapsack. my grandpa also used to make hummingbird feeders and hang them outside their home in rural madison county, ny. during the time when i was going through my teen angst bullshit, my grandpa, (mom's dad), served as my dad.

grandpa stanton was as old school as you can get. he was raised one of eleven children on a farm in madison county. his dad owned a farm and was also the high school principal. held all his kids to a really high standard of achievement. grandpa took a few classes in agriculture at the local college, but really liked to work with his hands. became a carpenter and a total DIY guy. changed his own oil, rebuilt cars, fixed anything that broke, built me a swing that was the best present that a little 4 year old inner-city kid could ever get!

rex was the only one to yell at me when i got my first tattoo at 18. but somehow this one i don't think he'll mind. i'm having my friend steve who's doing it hide my grandparents initials in the design. was never into "dad" and "mom" tattoos. not going to cover myself with names like some norman rockwell painting.

grandma will see it next weekend when i'm home for my mom's surprise 50th birthday that i still need to finish planning. she'll just shake her head and say my name with that inflection reserved for ladies born in 1920 who have no filter...

happy father's day for tomorrow to all my guy friends with kids!

post script...
this one is for mike. and my "other dad" bob.
RIP jack morgan & rex stanton. real men. class acts.

The black telephone's off at the root,
The voices just can't worm through. -s.h.p.

bulwark.

A Sagittarius born on November 26 is achievement-oriented and likes to do things their way. They can use practical means to bring about seemingly impractical goals. They seem hotheaded and stubborn; this doesn't come from ego but from innocent self-confidence. They believe their way is the best way.

November 26 natives are self-disciplined and centered. Practical in romantic matters, they don't really enjoy playing the field once they've set their sights on a potential mate. Unlike most Sagittarians, they are happy to settle down and start a family.

People born on this date are the bulwark of their family

Their goal is ultimate wisdom.

November 26 people would rather struggle than have things come easily.

They have emotional toughness and feel that only through hard work can they regard themselves as successful. Despite their common-sense attitude, they don't necessarily strive to achieve practical goals. They're just as likely to wish for the impossible. The only difference is their ability to accomplish it.