48.

not really sure when it started. 

a dream followed by a pseudo panic attack. 

became reality.

email from my ex. that he's going to be a dad. in need of irish names.

i reply. "congrats!" list 3 name suggestions.

all 3 of the names i gave were on his list.

(we never talked about "hypothetical baby names" while dating.)

odd.

then i guessed that my friend is having a baby. 

a guy friend.

without seeing him or his wife for months.

eerie.

i'll be hiding in brooklyn under my covers...