superstitions in travel.

get a text last night from my sister. she's flying to paris. waiting for the cabin to be closed. the size of her plane is making her nervous. she hates flying. i've been in planes way more than she has. wish i was next to her to calm her down.

remember a trip to louisville for a big fest. "krazyfest". my traveling partner had the worst flying anxiety. for whatever reason i can have a calming effect when i want to. let her clutch my hand til there is no circulation left in my fingers. she curls up into an almost fetal position, or as fetal as you can get while belted into an airline seat. the flight's only about an hour. my friend didn't take drugs, like she normally did. i rub her back and say soothing things for the duration of the flight.

my first flight was in my uncle's biplane. both my mom's brothers were pilots. the oldest had his pilot's license before his driver's license. going up in this antique plane that uncle jimmy restored with his own hands made me pretty much fearless when it comes to flying.

don't get me wrong i have no illusion that i'm indestructible, but whatever happens happens. i'm not a control freak, like most people who have panic attacks when flying. statistically, there are way better odds of me dying in a cab in ny than on a flight across the atlantic ocean.

first commercial flight was cross country and as turbulent as they come. thunderstorm, oxygen masks dropped at one point. my grandma morgan was with me, going to see the irish/portugese cousins in tacoma. gram had been back and forth to ireland a ton, to australia, israel and a ton of other places. by some stroke of bad luck, our seats weren't even together. as all this chaos is happening in flight, she's talking to me from behind me. my sixth grade self trusted that if she said everything was going to be ok, it would be.

the first time i touched down in ireland on that first trip i remember seeing all the green that i'd heard about for my entire life. immediately thinking of grandma and wishing i was with her instead of my then boyfriend.

twelve hours til takeoff...

"perhaps the ship on the label reminds people of travel
and who doesn't like to travel?"-jameson ad on subway





horoscope: "it is really a question of letting go of the old completely, so that the new can enter your life."