beginning. end. happy. sad. nervous. excited.

Next I pull the dream off
and slam into the cement wall
of the clumsy calendar
I live in,
my life,
and its hauled up
notebooks. -sexton

after 4 years toiling away for a promotion that never came i finally got a new job.
sad to say goodbye to my coworker friends.
those people i spend more hours with than my friend friends. more hours than my family. more hours than my ex.
happy to have a new challenge, next phase, jump start.
nervous to not know how to read people, not know the people who radiate energy from the people who drain it.
my first impressions are so often wrong.

27 to start.
31 to end.
so much life in between.

january is:
my anniversary of moving to ny.
the first month of the year.
a time for "new beginnings".
when my friend's dad died.
a job offer.
a resignation.
my cousin's engagement to be married.
another tooth yanked. percoset weekend to numb the pain. hopefully all of them.



knowing a woman who was at times more of a mom to me than my own mother is slowly fading away. resigned to the disease that will claim her life while her grandson is about to be born.