happy birthday to me.

30 years ago today in the midst of a blizzard in syracuse, ny i was born. it's official, i made it to my third decade. woohoo! 

turning around.

"cause you had what everyone wants, don't you know?

you just watched everything die, yeah you let a good thing go.

you had what everyone wants, don't you know?

you just watched everything die, yeah you let a good thing go.

did you get what you want from me?

i've done things you can't believe.

i'm not that person anymore.

i'm so much different than before.

you have no idea. 

you have no idea.

you waited your whole life for things to change.

you held your breath for so long you got nothin' to say to me...

you broke your own damn heart."

making a list, checking it twice.

reasons i could never live in LA:

1) i'd miss the seasons. having the same weather every day is kind of like being on prozac. of course i bitch about winter here, but i'd really miss it. xmas without snow isn't much of a holiday to me.

2) it's utterly ridiculous that driving somewhere in the middle of the day will take 15 minutes, but to get to that same place at rush hour takes 3 hours. utterly ridiculous.

3) the fact that i'd get skin cancer within 5 minutes of moving there. i'm that pale. 

4) earthquakes. 

5) barbie lookalikes.

i'm sure i can think of a bunch more, but that was just off the top of my head. 

the only reasons i would move to LA:

1) amanda.

2) maggie.

3) sara. 

my east coast transplant girls rule. 

thank you for your support!

i distinctly remember years ago thinking about how old i'd be when i stopped going to shows...

back then i never pictured being almost 30 and going to a house show, drinking bartles and james in a driveway because rachel thought it was funny to buy it. then, when everyone goes in to smush together to watch blake from jawbreaker's new band, hanging off the side of a van parked in the driveway to peer into a window for a glimpse of the band.

thorns of life is blake's new band. (bad name, great sound.) the drumming is a bit pop punk, but the vocals are classic blake. i was really into it and psyched to be at a DIY show.

the house was so packed that you couldn't walk through to get outside. people kept going up to the gate at the end of the driveway, thinking it was unlocked. watching people rattle the gate in hopes of escaping one lyric kept going through my head...

"no ins. no outs."

i'm so excited!

and i just can't hide it!!!

got some awesome secret news. i'll share tomorrow...

i'm moving mountains with my eyes closed...

went to bed early last night after an action-packed weekend. friday night i attended a wedding at the brooklyn botanical gardens. saturday was my faux birthday. by sunday my recently sprained ankle was throbbing after 2 nights dancing in high heels. decided to call it a night way before my usual bedtime.

slept for a few hours, woke up, slept for a few hours, woke up. vivid dreams about windows that slid open vertically instead of horizontally. watching out the window and seeing a group of airplanes all hovering like helicopters, instead of being on separate flight paths. a bed that was huge, which i realized was my old bed pushed up against my new bed. 

according to the dream dictionary online airplanes are symbolic of "overcoming obstacles" and "greater awareness". 

windows symbolize "bright hopes" and "vast possibilities".

beds are symbolic of "looking for domestic peace".

all of these are pretty positive things for my entrance into the next decade of existence!

november's spawn.

my birthday party was this weekend. decided to celebrate early in hopes that some people would be able to make it who'd ordinarily be away the week of thanksgiving.

since it was the big 3-0, (er, will be the big 3-0.), i'd decided awhile ago to have a theme party. got it into my head that a tiki party in november was a funny idea. so i booked the back room at otto's shrunken head. then cross my fingers enough of my friends would come out that it wouldn't be a total waste of space/money. and it wasn't!

i had an amazing night. thanks to everyone who showed up. especially to nicole, erika and matt for coming long distances to celebrate! love you guys. 

16 days til the real birthday...