consumed...

"consumed with what's to transpire" 

hibernation.

i haven't written anything in awhile. the pace i set for myself when this blog project began was hard to keep up with long term. initially i had lots and lots to say that i'd been storing up for awhile. now that most of it has been purged, i'm in the calm after the storm. 

the days leading up to turning 30 life felt like a snowball rolling down a hill, picking up momentum, adding to its mass. then eventually a point at the bottom of the hill is reached where you don't have the ability to roll anymore...

happy birthday to me.

30 years ago today in the midst of a blizzard in syracuse, ny i was born. it's official, i made it to my third decade. woohoo! 

turning around.

"cause you had what everyone wants, don't you know?

you just watched everything die, yeah you let a good thing go.

you had what everyone wants, don't you know?

you just watched everything die, yeah you let a good thing go.

did you get what you want from me?

i've done things you can't believe.

i'm not that person anymore.

i'm so much different than before.

you have no idea. 

you have no idea.

you waited your whole life for things to change.

you held your breath for so long you got nothin' to say to me...

you broke your own damn heart."

making a list, checking it twice.

reasons i could never live in LA:

1) i'd miss the seasons. having the same weather every day is kind of like being on prozac. of course i bitch about winter here, but i'd really miss it. xmas without snow isn't much of a holiday to me.

2) it's utterly ridiculous that driving somewhere in the middle of the day will take 15 minutes, but to get to that same place at rush hour takes 3 hours. utterly ridiculous.

3) the fact that i'd get skin cancer within 5 minutes of moving there. i'm that pale. 

4) earthquakes. 

5) barbie lookalikes.

i'm sure i can think of a bunch more, but that was just off the top of my head. 

the only reasons i would move to LA:

1) amanda.

2) maggie.

3) sara. 

my east coast transplant girls rule. 

thank you for your support!

i distinctly remember years ago thinking about how old i'd be when i stopped going to shows...

back then i never pictured being almost 30 and going to a house show, drinking bartles and james in a driveway because rachel thought it was funny to buy it. then, when everyone goes in to smush together to watch blake from jawbreaker's new band, hanging off the side of a van parked in the driveway to peer into a window for a glimpse of the band.

thorns of life is blake's new band. (bad name, great sound.) the drumming is a bit pop punk, but the vocals are classic blake. i was really into it and psyched to be at a DIY show.

the house was so packed that you couldn't walk through to get outside. people kept going up to the gate at the end of the driveway, thinking it was unlocked. watching people rattle the gate in hopes of escaping one lyric kept going through my head...

"no ins. no outs."

i'm so excited!

and i just can't hide it!!!

got some awesome secret news. i'll share tomorrow...