life as a choose-your-own-adventure book.

when i was little, in the 80's, i had my heart set on becoming a gymnast. i completely ignored that my mom's side of the family is all over 6' tall. a world away from the pixie russian girls i watched in the olympics on the balance beam, my favorite event. 

my dad and stepmom enrolled me in gymnastics. i was in third grade. the school was on the north side of syracuse, easy to get to from where they lived. the back of the building faced train tracks and could be opened up somehow. there was a big open pit of foam that you could flip into or fall onto from the parallel bars. 

the way my birthday fell made me almost a year younger than anyone in my grade. i wouldn't hit my growth spurt until 7th and 8th grade. was still the girl down in front, holding the sign in class photos arranged by height, short and scrawny. 

we had to learn all the ballet positions. which i thought was stupid. at a certain point they had to start adjusting the uneven parallel bars for me, since my feet dragged on the mats after i'd grown a bit. 

i knew these were necessary evils if i were to end up the next mary lou, but i grew to hate it. had begged and pleaded to enroll in the first place, so i refused to tell my parents i wasn't having fun anymore. i think the teacher ended up having a sit down and asking them to take me out. 

years later the same scenario would repeat itself with swimming, minus asking my parents to withdraw me. my coach knew i was a strong swimmer, but not a sprinter. my form was all wrong. he basically had to teach me all over. but i would not give up. i went from being in the slow lane to being co-captain and swimming in sectionals, a lifeguard at city pools and a swim instructor for little kids. all because dave, my coach, wanted me to quit so bad. had to prove him wrong.

that's still me. tell me i can't do something and i'll find a way to do it. not always, but if i am passionate about it. i'll play soccer against all boys at summer camp. hang out at the skate shop when they obviously don't want girls there. major in science because my asshole ancient chem teacher laughs in my face when i suggest it. i'll drive to ny in a blizzard from syracuse by myself to go hang out. cheer for the team my whole family hates. (or worse yet, be completely ignorant about the sports they go nuts over.) get tattoos i have to hide at work...

someone asked me why i was doing this blog thing. i've really only shown it to people i knew would either appreciate the references or gain some knowledge about me through it. basically, i do it because i can. because it's not expected of me, for whatever reason. 

-mjm

post script...

"and that has made all the difference..."

a bit of your favorite poem.

for jean marie.

who passed on to me her love for words and music. 

who taught me to blaze my own trail through life. 

you rock my world.