earlier today, after brunch, i am in the park for hours. we're counting the kinds of shorts dudes have on. it's either cut off jeans or pants, with the frayed strings still dangling. or cargo shorts. pretty even number of each. to look "different", everyone ends up looking the same.
on hour number 5ish i am literally laying facedown in the grass, sweating and burning from the intense sun. i notice some totally normal guys playing frisbee. no reason at all that i should give them more than a passing glance. i zero in on the camo short clad one for whatever reason.
he could be anyone. he is my friend from home. since 6th grade, when he would torture me in the "gifted and talented" program we attended once a week outside of our regular schools. the person catching the frisbee is the guy who sat in front of me in almost every class for 4 years of high school because our names are alphabetical. spot them just when i was about to go home with my roommate to shower and change.
run over to them. screaming. (of course.) they are sweaty messes. we hug.
6th grade friend i saw one drunken night last summer when i turned up at his bar at closing time. jameson and tales of "whatever happened to so and so", him telling me the story of how he met his wife, his band's tour antics, me giving him the cliff notes version of my life.
9th grade friend is getting his phd. haven't seen him since h.s. graduation. he happens to be going with his gf to an engagement party in chicago next weekend, the same weekend i'm there.
they are both going to syracuse in 2 weekends, the same weekend i'm there. they skipped our ten year class reunion. i didn't.
we speedily plan mini reunion with certain people at the spot we used to go to drink in high school. on a hill. overlooking a duck pond. and a graveyard. many a night i thought that i would tumble off this cliff, indiana jones style, after one beer too many.
today i walk with my two regular friends to their bar destination. they try to convince me to get drinks. want to, but want to go to the show more. can't bail on plans with karen since we so rarely have them.
as we walk to that bar i only have been inside of once, i pass two "enemies". really i could care less. their lack of maturity is laughable. i'm sure that they furiously texted about me walking around wburg with two totally normal dudes, one who is carrying a frisbee.
this is when i definitively know that, despite the fact i'm going to a punk rock show tonight, i am an adult. may not have a mortgage, a wedding ring, a baby...but what i do have is much more important. i know who i am. i know what i want. and what i don't want.
i've walked right by my new york past. literally. without batting an eye or missing a beat. while surrounded on either side by my syracuse past. my childhood. my teenage years. and then once they get to their destination i say goodbye, for now. continue walking into my future.
No comments:
Post a Comment