victoria lucas.

all for one. and one for none.

"these creatures are waking up in these dark trees.

awaiting like vultures.

eyes roll back turn white in time to feed

they salivate in hunger.

for you, and everything they need

to make a death complete,

completely unnatural and salvation lies

behind those dead eyes that watch you while you sleep every night..."

(fl phone call two nights ago. a word uttered: "drama". knew exactly what it meant.)

at what point do you cut someone off?

at what point do you allow them to cut you off?

when a friend's behavior is so reckless that you can see the end result from miles away.

months away.

you know the end isn't happy.

it's more likely a car crash, flames, explosions, pyrotechnics.

and it's sad.

but at some point, 

for your own sanity, 

you need to limit 

the 

drama 

in your life.

pare down.

family doesn't go away.

friendships shouldn't.

that was always my view of things 

for years.

blood wasn't always 

thicker than water.

you could pick your friends, you couldn't pick 

who you were related to.

i was the one in my family who tried. 

to toe the line. 

to tow the anchor.

to bridge the gaps.

the peacemaker.

a human olive branch.

out of all my friends, 

i was the one who excelled at compartmentalizing.

family.

friends.

a little box 

drawn around each.

never the two 

shall meet.

i let go of two friends.

one who i'd known 

for the last decade.

one who i'd been 

really close to 

for the past few years.

neither 

were cavalier decisions.

both caused 

a 

lot 

of soul searching. 

prioritizing.

re-prioritizing.

were "friendships" 

causing me more 

pain than pleasure?

the answer was yes. 

in the end i chose me.

i'll always choose me.